I was just reading my 'Funny Stories' folder and came across one written about the funny/irritating things my dad says, AKA Danimalisms. (I also want to say I have several involving my friends Q and also S however the 'world' that reads this won't get all the funny references to blueberries, Wally, cancer causing powder, monkeys, etc)
Here are a few...from 4-06
'get more water; you have no bottled water in case there is a catastrophe'
'you have no canned veggies; you cant feed my 'family' ' (meaning my two kids even though he is saying they are his). he wants me to spend $50 to get tons of canned veggies that we wont eat.
you need a stove.that fireplace isnt going to heat this house if there is no more oil. oil is going to be up to $3 a gallon soon.' then something about the arabs and there was some swears associated w them.
also: 'that dog is an acute pain in the ass' (on THIS one, i AGREE!!!!)
also: 'she is nothing but a fatball. haha' (again, this was 4-06...she has been on a diet now)
also he wanted to know if i had money lying around in the house. I should have 3k around house because what happens if tornado, etc comes. The banks will all be shut down, so will atms and I cant get to my money.
Below are the comments from Korey about the above which I still find hilarious:
kdog: we would need a wood boiler in the basement like my parents have; a wood stove in the great room won't heat the @*&$ house
lpetrini_2000: with FANS it will! (insert my rolling eyes)
lpetrini_2000: we blow the fans all over the house.
kdog: why can't we just be normal
kdog: and not always be preparing for apolcolypse